Broken Hearts and New Starts (Part 1)

So after spending all night driving recklessly through the rain, losing my mind, and screaming,crying,pleading into my phone- I've discovered how easily it is to become thrown off track in life.

After having something in my life for nearly two years, a constant and warm thing- most of the time, the idea of it not being there scares me. It's as if you have a dog that sleeps in your bed with you every night, there's a warm comforting spot where the dog lays- then suddenly its gone, cold, and dark, and lonely.

No, I'm not single yet. However, I happen to be in a state of limbo- purgatory if you will. With inclinations on both sides of the coin.

It never ceases to amaze me, the ebb and flow
of human emotion and reasoning.
On this its important that we observe our fellow
man-but much more important to observe
it in
yourself.

The current relationship I'm in (was?) probably
the best thing that ever happened to me.

It got me away from the dangerous bullshit I used

to enjoy.
It got me back in school.

It made me appreciate people more.

So many great things have changed in my life for the better.

But.

I've never been one to talk badly to people, I was prim and I was proper.

Now, I shoot insults out at people (including said girl) like its T-shirts at a football game. And not because I mean them- It's just how I've started to respond.

If I get defensive, It's on.

This is a terrible way to be. She and I are both guilty of it, me probably more so than her.

Scratch that

Me much more so than her.