The ironic thing about the title of this post, along with the previous post is that when I wrote it, it had a totally different meaning in my heart and mind.
Somehow, it applies to my current situation more than it did before, and in a much better way than before as well.
When I wrote my last post, I was under the impression that the two year relationship with the Love of my life was over, that I had made too many mistakes to be forgiven for- that my lack of understanding, not only of her, but of myself was too much to handle.
After writing that post, I made a miraculous discovery with a lot of help from Love (It's what I'll refer to as from hereafter, as well as metaphorically speaking). She helped me to understand my actions and she helped me through some very rough memories of growing up and my (lack) childhood.
I won't go into details here, but I had a very,very tough and destructive childhood resulting from my parents. The details of that, I've never told anyone- not even my closest friend. When I remembered these events and relived these memories- which was occurring with increasing frequency. I become cold, cynical, and distant. I was pushing myself away from her, unknowingly, but because I was broken and the repressed memories were starting to leak through and affect my personal life.
Love (emotion and who it represents) helped me talk about these things, to let them out. I didn't have to feel ashamed of my past and I no longer had to overcompensate for it either.
I honestly and truly feel like this is the first day of my life. I've never been more happier, never been more motivated to succeed.
It's all thanks to Love.
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